Hi there, hope you’re doing well and fine. 🧡
So, welcome to madness… oooh God. If you haven’t notice I had to completely change my domain of this blog.
I was very upset at the beginning now, I kind of find a little silver lining. But still….
My post of my family getting together by zoom on Monday, was a very dear one to me. I was very happy that I was able to talk to them and so on. I don’t have a good communication with them.
I have worked my personal journey with my parents and that’s it, other family members no way. I honestly don’t care. I’ve never had a family and I guess it’s okay, I’m healing, still healing.
And today I got the most horrible email from my aunt telling me that I was abusing my family by posting the picture, and that I have no clue what ethics and moral issues are. She basically called me incompetent and a violator of other’s privacy. Meaning her. Since her face was there. She said so many hurtful things that I had to take down the post and change this site.
I struggled a lot, responding her message. I wanted to tell her all sort of things, I was sooooo angry. I wrote them, I think maybe, I wrote 3 emails…. didn’t send any of them. Why? Because I felt so hurt by her, her nasty words, I don’t want to do the same. I don’t. I don’t want to call names and create drama out of nowhere, I’m not like that. It’s so sad to me.
My father has tried so hard to put the family together and it genuinely breaks my heart, that even if trying, we can’t seem to get along. It hurts, and it hurts me because I know he would love for us to be a family, and I’ve tried soooo many times.
But enough is enough. I’m sorry for not being able to tolerate nonsense and try to have a decent conversation with someone that I do not like. I tried. And that for me counts. I woke up today feeling like shit.
Still feels like shit this day.
But I try hard really I try hard to remember that I’m alive, and I have my dad and my mom alive. And the ones I love are well. So thanks for that universe.
I’ll try to feel better.
Love, Calu R.